Make it Count: Guide for parents and carers

This guide is for parents and carers to help children understand, protect and sustain their mental health.

It is important that children are encouraged and supported to look after their mental health every day. This guide offers suggestions for how you can help your child do this. The guide also offers advice for what you can do when things get tough and if you're worried about your child's mental health.

What is mental health?

We all have mental health, just as we all have physical health. Being mentally healthy means that we feel good about ourselves, make and keep positive relationships with others and can feel and manage the full range of emotions. 

These can range from happiness, excitement and curiosity through to less comfortable feelings such as anger, fear or sadness. 

Good mental health allows us to cope with life's ups and downs, to feel in control of our lives and to ask for help from others when we need support. 

Mental health spectrum

Mental health and mental illness are part of a 'spectrum', just as physical health and illness are. Throughout our lives, many different things can lead us to move up and down the spectrum such as the start or end of relationships, getting a new job or being made redundant, changes in physical health and good news or worries about those we are close to.

It is important to remember that recovery is possible, even from severe mental ill health, and that people with a mental ill-health diagnosis may be managing their condition well and still experiencing high levels of wellbeing.

The five ways to wellbeing  

Often, life events that are outside our control can damage our mental health, and this is made worse if we feel powerless to do anything about them.

One of the ways we can re-gain a sense of control and nourish our mental health is to remember 'the five ways to wellbeing' which have been found in research to improve mental wellbeing in children and adults.

Top tips for how you can support your child's mental health 

Below are some ideas for how you can support your child, as well as some suggestions for where you can get further information. 

Day to day

Our everyday habits are important to our mental health, just as they are to our physical health. Here are a few suggestions to help your child develop good habits. 

Think about the five ways to wellbeing

Are there things you can encourage them to do, or do together, each day? 

Talk openly about mental health

Just as you might encourage them to eat fruit and veg to keep their bodies healthy (and model this behaviour yourself), talk openly about, for example, staying connected with others or being physically active in order to take care of our minds. 

Model good habits 

Children often learn from copying what they see around them. If you are taking care of your own mental health, it's easier for them to see what good habits look like. 

Think about phone usage – both theirs and yours

We don't fully understand the impact of social media on our mental health but using phones and laptops can impact on our sleep, which is important to our mental health. 

We're also more likely to listen to one another if we're not distracted by technology.

Notice any changes in your child's behaviour 

Young people tell us how they're feeling in many ways, not always verbally. 

Learning what is normal for your child makes it easier to notice when things change, and if this might be a sign that they're struggling. 

We need your help

This guide is part of our mission to ensure that people and communities can thrive with good mental health. We cannot produce guides like this without your help. If you have found it useful, please consider a donation today.

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When times get tough

Sometimes you might worry about your child's mental health. While you might need to speak to a member of school staff or your GP for advice, here are a few things you can do if you're worried. 

Let your child know that you're concerned

Explain why you feel that way, for example if you've noticed they haven't been interested in activities they usually enjoy.

Use activities that you do together to have conversations about how they are doing

Talking whilst doing something together, side-by-side, such as cooking, can help them share their feelings more easily than a face-to-face conversation. 

Let them know that struggling sometimes is normal and nothing to be ashamed of

Tell them about the mental health spectrum and that we all, including you, go up and down the scale throughout our lives. Reassure them that talking about difficult feelings with the people we trust is a brave thing to do. 

Listen and empathise

Often the first step to feeling better is feeling connected and knowing that someone is alongside you. 

Empathy helps young people (and adults) connect. Empathy involves acknowledging what your child is feeling, trying to understand things from their point of view and avoiding judgement. Empathy is usually more helpful than giving advice or trying to 'fix' their problem.  

If you're still worried

Talk to a trusted member of school staff or your GP who can point you towards sources of help. 

Help and further information

Use the resources below to find out more about mental health and wellbeing:  

Our A-Z guide is a useful overview of key mental health topics

Mumsnet, who provide advice for parents by parents, are supporting our Make it Count campaign and have lots of great advice on parenting on their website.

Mind have a whole range of information and support information for children and parents on their website:  

Young Minds provide useful information for young people and their parents about mental health, seeking treatment and the mental health system.

The NHS website is a useful place to find out about all kinds of illnesses, including mental health problems.

Mind Ed for Families is a website developed by Health Education England and the Department of Education to help families understand and support their children, from parenting tips to getting help in a crisis.

Headspace has some useful audio and video clips about different conditions and people’s experiences, as well as some mindfulness resources. Here are a couple: 

We need your help

This guide is part of our mission to ensure that people and communities can thrive with good mental health. We cannot produce guides like this without your help. If you have found it useful, please consider a donation today.

Donate now