Managing our mental health through grief

Grief changes us in many ways. And it doesn’t just come from dealing with the loss of a loved one. We can grieve a relationship ending, job loss, or even unfulfilled dreams.

The link between grief and mental health is undeniable as grief affects our emotions, thoughts, and physical wellness. Every loss comes with its own unique set of experiences, but it can also offer the chance for self-reflection.

Although grief can feel isolating, you’re not alone: it’s a universal experience. Healing and moving through grief doesn’t mean forgetting, but instead involves learning to live with loss and grow around it. Ultimately, grief recovery isn’t about ‘moving on’, but is about living a life that honours the things or people we have lost while embracing the possibilities that lie ahead.
 

Grief isn’t just one emotion. It’s a complex process that can affect thoughts, physical sensations, and feelings, as these can rise and fall like waves. It also looks different for everyone; some may feel heartwrenching sadness, while others might feel ‘numb.’ 

Some examples of what grief feels like include:^1,2

• emotions: like sadness, emptiness, anger, regret, guilt, disbelief, overwhelm, anxiety, or even relief.
• physical sensations: such as exhaustion, disrupted sleep, or appetite changes.
• thoughts: for instance, difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, or feeling as though you’re on autopilot.

These changes are part of the natural process of adjusting to loss. They can also affect our mental health, with psychological effects of grief including anxiety or low mood. 

If daily life feels unmanageable, or if symptoms last for a long time, you may be experiencing complicated grief: a condition when you become ‘stuck’ in the grieving process.³

Grief has no expiration date and can’t be hurried. Recognising your emotions and caring for your mental health after loss with kindness and patience is what matters most. 

While grief may seem never-ending, over time, it can become a journey of self-discovery. Growing through grief means carrying loss gently, not forgetting it. Our grieving journeys are all unique, and personal growth can take different forms, such as:

• reflection: journaling, creative expression, or quiet contemplation alone can help you explore your emotions, values, and priorities.
• connection: supporting others or volunteering can bring a new sense of purpose in life.
• honouring memories: creating rituals, memorials, or new traditions can help you feel your loved one’s continuing presence in a healthy way.

Also, research shows that finding purpose, meaning, and gratitude after loss can boost your mental well-being. ^4-6 Even small steps, like sharing a memory or offering a random act of kindness to someone, can remind us that life after loss can still bring connection and happiness.

Grief changes with time, and some days may feel heavier than others. However, every step you take toward healing helps you to process the loss, rather than being defined by it. Be patient with yourself as you heal, adapt, and grow.

If someone you know is grieving, it’s sometimes difficult to know what to say or do. For example, you may worry about saying the wrong thing. Often, the most meaningful help comes from the simple things: being present, patient, and kind. 

With this in mind, here are some gentle ways to offer support:

• be there and listen: listen without judgement, criticism, or trying to ‘fix’ their grief. Ask open-ended questions about their loss to encourage them to open up. Sometimes, just sitting together quietly over a cup of tea can be comforting in itself.
• offer practical help: everyday tasks can feel overwhelming while grieving. You could offer to make them a meal, fold up the washing, or run errands for them.
• keep checking in: grief doesn’t end with a funeral, so keep reaching out, like inviting them to catch up over coffee. If they decline, at least they know you’re there for them, and that’s worth a lot.
• avoid cliches: phrases like ‘stay strong’ or ‘time heals all wounds’ can feel dismissive of a person’s pain in that moment. Instead, you could say something like ‘I can’t imagine what it’s like for you.’
• encourage self-care: gently encourage them to look after themselves by resting, eating, and exercising, for example. You could even offer to join them for a walk or suggest cooking together.

Supporting someone through grief isn’t about grand gestures; it’s about consistency and compassion. Just being there and offering support can provide real comfort whilst respecting their space and process. 

Grief is a very personal experience, yet it can also be a trigger for growth and reflection. 

When managing grief and mental health, allow yourself to feel your emotions, lean on your friends and family, and be gentle with yourself while you heal. By prioritising self-care, seeking support where needed, and embracing small moments of meaning, it's possible to move forward and grow without being defined by grief.

Healing isn’t about forgetting; rather, it’s learning to carry the past with compassion. 

If you’d like more information on supporting your wellbeing, explore our free resources below:

Change, loss, and bereavement

Boost your mental health by moving more

How to sleep better

Diet and mental health

You can also get support through: 

• NHS 111: Get help from 111 online or call 111 and choose the mental health option.
• Mind infoline: You can call the Mind infoline on 0300 123 3393 with questions about mental health problems, where to get help, and treatment options.
• CALM Helpline and webchat: If you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts or are at risk of harm, call the CALM helpline on 0800 58 58 58 or use their webchat service from 5 pm until midnight, 365 days of the year.