No longer Home Alone: how Glasgow opens its heart to people seeking refugee protection

Christmas can be especially hard when distance and global events keep us apart from the people we love. Few understand this better than Menesia, a former nurse and UN coordinator from Namibia. 

Menesia arrived in Scotland in 2020 and fell in love with Glasgow and its warm, welcoming community. But she vividly recalls how challenging that first festive season was, and just how isolating it felt: 

“My first Christmas was tough,” Menesia says. “Being far from home, you miss your family throughout the year already.  

“When you arrive, at first you don’t have friends and you’re in a flat with people who aren’t from your culture. You have to do Christmas for yourself, by yourself.  

“In my first year, I did try to make the other people in my accommodation gifts, just to surprise them. People enjoyed them, but it was difficult to create a real sense of harmony at Christmas when everyone is so different."

Loneliness and isolation can be common among asylum seekers - according to a report by refugee charity The Forum, 58% of asylum seekers in London identified it as their biggest challenge when attempting to settle in a new country. A lonely Christmas was a far cry from Menesia’s previous festivities.

“In Namibia, Christmas is BBQ time – you’d walk around the streets and get the most amazing smells. Everyone’s in their inflatable swimming pools in the garden, and you splash around with the kids. You eat, drink, joke, and dance. It’s the best, everyone knows where they belong. It’s a time of togetherness.

“Being away, you miss your home, the music and the yelling, and the stories and memories. You miss the laughter from the tales you’d tell each other.” 

But Menesia is not one to let distance come between her and finding some joy. Two years after arriving in the UK, and two Christmases later, she found her community. After meeting her friend Freya through her work at an asylum hotel, Menesia started to spend Christmas with Freya and her friends:

“I was so happy when I met my friend Freya. From 2022 onwards, I spent Christmas every year with her and a group of friends, like Sarmed and Brian. Freya helped us create a sense of togetherness and helped us feel at home.  

“One year at Freya’s, we were talking about what we were grateful for – the things we have gained during our time in Scotland. People were missing their family, but to try to make up for it, we all spent time together, playing cards, dominoes, making riddles for one another and even playing a few drinking games. It was the best Christmas I’d had in a long time.  

“Of course, you miss your family, you miss your BBQ, but Freya helped us recover a bit of that feeling from back home, the feeling of the things we miss. We have such a beautiful time.

“It’s wonderful what the people of Glasgow do for people like me, taking us into their homes and their hearts. This city is one of a kind.”

As well as spending special occasions with her friends, Menesia tries to make the most of what time she can spend speaking on the phone to her family, but it can be tough.

“When I have an event like my birthday, or Christmas, I call my daughter. I deeply and dearly miss my children, grandchildren and neighbours. I miss the sharing, the giving for the sake of giving. I miss the harmony and the laughter. Christmas is a sad moment in many ways, because I can’t be with my family.

“There’s nothing I miss more than my grandchildren and children, it’s the hardest thing - 2019 was the last time I saw them. The grandkids are growing, life is going on whether you are there or not. My granddaughter was even born while I was in the UK. She knows me, but only from the phone, so she calls me “my ouma in the phone.”  

“It’s hard. You fake smiles and move on. And moments like birthdays and Christmas and New Year are especially difficult. It’s hard to talk about, but it’s a difficult time, knowing you can’t go to them, because it won’t be safe, and they can’t get to you.” 

With that in mind, Menesia, who volunteers with the Mental Health Foundation, shared some advice for others who might also be struggling this Christmas, whether that be with loneliness, loss, or any other difficult feelings.

“You don’t need to wait for someone to come to you. Sometimes you just need to reach out for support. A lot of people are lonely, and we can’t be with the people we want, so you need to make the best of a situation.  

“Make your own little Christmas, even if it’s not the same as the one you have at home. Look after yourself, give yourself something that you wanted during the year, eat what you want to eat, spend time with friends, go for food together, go for dinner or a Christmas lunch somewhere. Make it for yourself and if you don’t have anyone, reach out to strangers. You won’t feel alone, you will be in a crowd of people.

“For everyone else struggling, even if you feel there are barriers in the way, you just have to take the first step – reach out and say hi, even to a stranger.  I am a Glaswegian – so reaching out is what we do! Reach out, and say merry Christmas to someone, even a stranger. You never know, you might be the first person who’s said that to them this year, and you could make a huge difference.”