Helping children navigate nerves, excitement and big changes
Location: United Kingdom
Dr David Crepaz-Keay
As families prepare for the new school term, many children will be looking forward to seeing friends, meeting new teachers and enjoying a fresh start after the summer holidays.
But alongside the excitement, the return to school can also bring feelings of worry, uncertainty and anxiety. This is especially true for children starting primary school for the first time, moving up to secondary school, or facing any other significant change.
The first thing I'd like parents to know is that these feelings are completely normal. Big transitions often bring a mix of emotions, and children may feel excited and nervous at the same time.
One of the most important things parents can do is create opportunities for open conversations. Encourage your child to talk about how they are feeling and reassure them that there is no right or wrong way to feel about a big change. By listening without judgement and checking in regularly, you can help children feel understood, supported and more comfortable opening up when they need to.
Another simple but effective way to support children is by establishing routines before school starts. Familiar patterns help children feel more secure and prepared, and they can reduce feelings of stress and anxiety during periods of change. As families settle back into term time, it's important to make space in daily routines for the things that support good mental wellbeing, such as spending time with friends and family, staying active, playing and having fun.
Starting something new
Whether a child is beginning a new class, starting at a new school or meeting new people, it can take time to feel comfortable. Adjusting to unfamiliar surroundings and schedules is a process, and parents can help by reminding children that it's OK for things to feel challenging at first.
I often encourage parents to focus on helping children look forward to the positive aspects of school. For some children that might be seeing friends again, while for others it could be learning something new or taking part in favourite activities. Focusing on these positives can help build confidence and reduce anxiety.
Starting primary school is a particularly significant milestone, not only for children but for parents too. Helping children understand what to expect can make the transition feel less overwhelming. Talking positively about school, practising the morning routine before term starts and encouraging simple independence skills, such as dressing themselves or organising their belongings, can all help children feel more prepared for their first day.
For many young people, moving to secondary school represents one of the biggest changes in their lives. New surroundings, larger school buildings, changing classrooms, different teachers and evolving friendships can all feel daunting.
While this transition often brings exciting opportunities, it can also feel overwhelming. Parents can help children build resilience by encouraging problem-solving rather than immediately offering a solution. Supporting children to focus on what they can control, and reminding them of times they have successfully navigated challenges in the past, can also help to boost confidence.
Alongside this, it's important to support healthy habits that protect wellbeing, including getting enough sleep, moving their bodies regularly, making time for fun and maintaining strong connections with family and friends.
The importance of friendships
For many children, one of the best things about returning to school is reconnecting with friends they may not have seen over the summer. Friendships play an important role in children's wellbeing, helping them feel connected, valued and supported.
Parents can help by creating opportunities for children to spend time with friends, taking an interest in their relationships and talking about what is happening in their social lives. Feeling connected to other people is one of the foundations of good mental health, and supportive friendships can help children feel more resilient through periods of change and transition.
Of course, not every child finds it easy to make friends. Some may experience loneliness, exclusion or bullying. If your child is struggling socially, try to help them connect with others through activities they genuinely enjoy, whether that's sport, gaming, music, clubs or another shared interest.
It's important not to put pressure on children to be outgoing or to have a large friendship group. For many young people, having one trusted friend is enough to help them feel connected and supported. Take time to listen to how they're feeling, help them build confidence in social situations and celebrate small steps forward.
If you think your child is being bullied, take their concerns seriously and make sure they know that the bullying is not their fault. Encourage them to talk openly about what is happening and work with the school to understand the situation and agree what support can be put in place. Children who feel listened to and supported by trusted adults are often better able to cope with difficult experiences and seek help when they need it.
Don't forget your own wellbeing
Finally, I'd encourage parents not to overlook their own wellbeing.
Parenting is hard, and worrying about our children can take its toll. Children are always watching and learning from the adults in their lives. When parents make time for their own mental health, use healthy ways to cope with stress and seek support when they need it, they show children that it's OK to do the same.
As the new school year begins, it's worth remembering that while transitions can feel challenging, they are also opportunities for children to grow in confidence, develop resilience and build new connections. With patience, understanding and support from the adults around them, most children will find their feet and settle into their new routines.