Becoming Dad: A guide for new fathers

This focus of this guide is to help you make sense of what it can be like to be a Dad, to look after yourself and the others around you, and do the best possible job of becoming a confident father.

We’ve created this guide to try and answer the questions and concerns you’re most likely to have as you set off on your fatherhood journey. We’ve also included information to signpost you towards whatever help and advice you might need along the way, and to hopefully help you do one of the most important and best jobs in the world – becoming a Dad!

This guide is based on the best, most up-to-date research, and draws on the experiences of thousands of Dads who’ve travelled this road before you.

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Chapter outlines

  1. The science of ‘becoming Dad’ Many centuries of evolution lie behind what you’re experiencing as a soon-to-be-father or a new father. What can science tell us about what children need from fathers and how fatherhood changes us as men?
  2. Looking after yourself - It’s a cliché but true: how can you look after somebody else if you don’t know how to look after yourself? This chapter is all about opening up to yourself, being honest about your feelings around fatherhood, and finding ways to stay calm and focused on the things that matter during what can be an exciting but stressful time
  3. Supporting your baby’s biological mother - Whatever the nature of your relationship with this person – romantic or otherwise –they will be hugely important to your baby and go through some serious stuff. Here we focus on biological mothers’ physical journey and what you can do to help
  4. Looking after your relationship with your partner - The perinatal period can be a minefield for couples’ relationships – it can make or break them or make little difference. In this chapter, we focus on key challenges and offer practical tips for maintaining or improving your relationship. We also look at what you can do if it’s all going wrong
  5. Getting to know your baby - Men can find it hard to ‘engage’ with the baby in the womb and even once they are born. Here we look at simple ways to connect with your child, build a strong bond and start to work out how everyone fits together in your new family
  6. Juggling work and home - Family, friends, wider society – and we – can put a lot of pressure on Dads to be ‘the provider’. Here we look at how to navigate this aspect of your paternal identity and offer practical tips for making the most of the time you have with your baby and for creating a work/life balance that allows you to be an involved father
  7. What to do if you're struggling and where to find help - Early fatherhood can be tiring and stressful. Most Dads muddle through, but some find it extremely difficult to cope. This chapter is all about how to spot problems before they get too serious and where to go for help if you need it
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