How to support someone with a mental health problem

This content mentions suicide or suicidal thoughts. Please read with care. There are details of where to find help at the bottom of this page.

We all go through tough times, and people help us through them. Other times we have been worried about other people’s mental health. Whether they are a friend, family member or colleague, there are many ways to support somebody you care about.

Worried couple talking

How do I know if someone has a mental health problem?

Sometimes it will seem obvious when someone is going through a hard time, but there is no simple way of knowing if they have a mental health problem. Sometimes you don’t need to know. It’s more important to respond sensitively to someone who seems troubled than to find out whether or not they have a diagnosis.

Although certain symptoms are common with specific mental health problems, no two people behave the same way when unwell. You may notice changes in their behaviour or mood if you know the person well.

Our A-Z of mental health provides information on various mental health problems.

How can I help?

There are many ways you can help a friend, relative or colleague who has a mental health problem:

Talking about mental health

It can be challenging to know what to do if you are worried about someone. When you know there is an issue, it is essential not to wait. Waiting and hoping they will come to you for help might lose valuable time getting them support.

Talking to someone is often the first step when you know they are having a hard time. This way, you can find out what is troubling them and what you can do to help.

Eight tips for talking about mental health

1. Set time aside with no distractions

It is important to provide an open and non-judgemental space with no distractions.

2. Let them share as much or as little as they want to

Let them lead the discussion at their own pace. Don’t pressure them to tell you anything they aren’t ready to talk about. Talking can take a lot of trust and courage. You might be the first person they have been able to talk to about this.

3. Don't try to diagnose or second guess their feelings

You probably aren’t a medical expert, and while you may be happy to talk and offer support, you aren’t a trained counsellor. Try not to make assumptions about what is wrong or jump in too quickly with your own diagnosis or solutions.

4. Keep questions open ended

Say, "Why don’t you tell me how you are feeling?" rather than "I can see you are feeling very low". Try to keep your language neutral. Give the person time to answer and try not to grill them with too many questions.

5. Talk about self-care

Discuss ways of de-stressing or practising self-care and ask if they find anything helpful. Exercising, having a healthy diet and getting a good night's sleep can help protect mental health and sustain wellbeing. 

6. Listen carefully to what they tell you

Repeat what they have said back to them to ensure you have understood it. You don’t have to agree with what they are saying, but by showing you understand how they feel, you are letting them know you respect their feelings.

7. Offer them help in seeking professional support and provide information on ways to do this

You might want to offer to go to the GP with them or help them talk to a friend or family member. Try not to take control and allow them to make decisions.

8. Know your limits

You will have your own limits on the support that you can provide. And it's important to take care of yourself too. Give yourself time to rest and process what they have told you or what’s happened. Try to help them create a support network of other friends, relatives and mental health professionals who can help them too.

Remember that If you believe they are in immediate danger or have injuries that need medical attention, you must take urgent action to ensure they are safe. More details on dealing in a crisis can be found below.

If it is a family member or close friend you are concerned about, they might not want to talk to you. Try not to take this personally: talking to someone you love can be difficult as they might be worried they are hurting you. It is important to keep being open and honest and telling them that you care. It may also be helpful to give them information about organisations or people they can reach out to. A list can be found below.

How do I respond in a crisis?

People with mental health problems sometimes experience a crisis, such as feeling suicidal or experiencing their own or a different reality. 

You may also feel a sense of crisis, but staying calm is important.

There are some general strategies that you can use to help:

  • Listen without making judgements and concentrate on their needs at that moment
  • Ask them what would help them
  • Reassure and signpost to practical information or resources.
  • Avoid confrontation
  • Ask if there is someone they would like you to contact
  • Encourage them to seek appropriate professional help
  • If they have hurt themselves, make sure they get the first aid they need

Seeing, hearing or believing things that no one else does can be the symptom of a mental health problem. It can be frightening and upsetting. Gently remind the person who you are and why you are there. Don’t reinforce or dismiss their experiences; acknowledge how the symptoms make them feel.

How do I respond if someone is suicidal?

If someone tells you they are feeling suicidal or can’t go on, it is very important to encourage them to get help. You or they should contact a GP or NHS 111. They can also contact the Samaritans immediately by calling 116 123 (UK) for free anytime. They could also get help from their friends, family, or mental health services.

You can ask how they feel and let them know you are available to listen. Talking can be a great help to someone who is feeling suicidal, but it may be distressing for you. You need to talk to someone about your feelings; the Samaritans can help you.

If they are planning to take their own life, please encourage them to call 999 (UK) or go to A&E and ask for the contact of the nearest crisis resolution team. These are teams of mental health care professionals who work with people in severe distress. 

Useful organisations and resources

The first person to approach is your family doctor. they should be able to advise about treatment and may refer you to another local professional. See our guide on How to talk to your GP about your mental health.

Specialist mental health services

Several specialist services provide various treatments, including counselling and other talking treatments. Often these different services are coordinated by a community mental health team (CMHT), which is usually based either at a hospital or a local community mental health centre. Some teams provide 24-hour services so that you can contact them in a crisis. You should be able to contact your local CMHT through your local social services or social work team.

Samaritans

The Samaritans offer emotional support 24 hours a day, in full confidence. Call 116 123 or email  [email protected] .

Mind Infoline

Mind provides information on a range of mental health topics to support people in their own area from 9.00 am to 6.00 pm, Monday to Friday. Call 0300 123 3393 or email  [email protected] .

Rethink Advice and Information Service

Rethink provide specific solution-based guidance: 0300 5000 927 E-mail:  a%64%[email protected] " rel="nofollow"> [email protected] .

Anxiety

Anxiety UK runs a helpline staffed by volunteers with personal experience of anxiety from 9:30-5:30, Monday to Friday. Call 08444 775 774.

Citizens Advice

Citizens Advice provides free, independent, confidential advice for various problems and information on your rights and responsibilities.

Step Change

StepChange provides help and information for people dealing with various debt problems. Freephone (including from mobiles) 0800 138 1111 or visit the website on www.stepchange.org.

MindEd

MindEd is a free educational resource on children and young people’s mental health for all adults.

If you are feeling like ending your life or feel unable to keep yourself safe, please call 999 or go to A&E and ask for the contact of the nearest crisis resolution team. These are teams of mental health care professionals who work with people in severe distress. If you feel affected by the content you have read, please see our get help page for support.

Related content

Talking to your GP about your mental health

Many of us find it hard to find the words to talk about how we’re feeling. But you don’t have to put off making an appointment until you’re at a crisis point. Being prepared can make your appointment feeling a little easier. The sooner you go, the sooner you can start to feel better.

A-Z on mental health

Head to our A-Z page and search for a related topic of interest to you.

Was this content useful?