Large numbers of children grow up with a parent who at some point experiences a mental health problem. Many of these parents will have a mild or short-lived problem. Many other children live with a parent who has a long-term problem such as alcohol or drug dependency.
Other parents experience a severe and enduring mental illness. These long-term illnesses include schizophrenia, personality disorders and bipolar disorder. The adults affected by these illnesses are as likely to become parents as adults who are not experiencing mental ill health.
Estimates suggest that between 50% and 66% of parents with a severe and enduring mental illness live with one or more children under 18. That amounts to about 17,000 children and young people in the UK (*reference below).
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Many parents feel under pressure to balance their parenting role with their other roles, for example as partners or workers. Parents with mental health problems may find this particularly difficult. Parents may also:
- lack confidence in their parenting skills
- be unusually relaxed with their children
- discipline their children particularly harshly
- be less able to identify their children’s needs than other parents
In addition, parents’ hospital stays may disrupt the stability of their children’s lives and alter the relationships some parents have with their children. Putting their children’s needs first can mean parents avoid hospital stays or stop taking medication that makes them tired or unable to think clearly.
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Research has shown that some children of parents with a severe and enduring mental illness experience greater levels of emotional, psychological and behavioural problems than children and young people in the rest of the population. This may be because the genes that some of them inherit make them more vulnerable to mental ill health, but social factors can also affect their mental health. For instance, parents with a severe illness are more likely to experience poverty which in turn can affect their children’s mental health.
As well as worrying about their parents, children may be reluctant to ask for help for fear that there may be negative consequences such as being taken away from their parent/s. Children may become carers for their parents and lose out socially and educationally. Estimates suggest about 50,000 young carers care for a family member with mental health problems, whether their problems are mild, moderate or severe (**reference below).
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Although many children experience negative effects from their parents’ mental ill health, many others do not. Certain factors can protect children’s mental health when their parents are unwell for a long time. These include:
- being supported by agencies who take a ‘whole family’ approach to supporting the child, their parent and other family members
- getting support from their relatives, teachers, other adults and their friends
- having another caregiver who does not have mental health problems
- being parented in a consistent way
- cultural factors, such as the support of faith communities, which may vary between different communities
Social support can help children and young people to cope with their parents’ ill health. Young carers’ groups also support some children and give them a chance to enjoy days out.
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- Children need to be offered clear factual information about their parents’ mental ill health to reduce the likelihood of increasing the child’s anxiety. The internet increasingly provides a way for children and young people to find out about topics which carry a stigma or may be a source of embarrassment.
- Barnardo’s produces materials for anyone working with parents with mental health problems and their children. More information
- Creating a ‘routine factsheet’ with their parents can prepare children for times when their parents may be absent. It could describe the children’s daily/weekly routine and their likes and dislikes. If other caregivers follow this guidance it can provide children with continuity and a sense of security. It can also enable parents to maintain a sense of control and keep contributing to their children’s wellbeing when they are apart.
- Parents can write down what they find helpful and unhelpful to prepare for particularly difficult times. Children often carry this information in their heads which means they may assume the role of their parent’s carer without looking for support outside the family. Sharing the parent’s needs with a trusted adult reduces the likelihood of the child taking on inappropriate caring responsibilities and can reduce the guilt that parents may feel about being a burden on their children.
- If a child is going to visit their parent in an in-patient unit, it is important that whoever takes them can explain beforehand what to expect to reduce anxiety. What does the building look like, who works there, how may the other service users behave, how will their parent behave and will their usual behaviour have been altered by medication?
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References
* Psychosocial outcomes of adult children of mothers with depression and bipolar disorder, Journal of Emotional and Behavioural Disorders 2006 and Parental Psychiatric Disorder: Distressed Parents and Their Families, Cambridge University Press 1996
** Young Carers in the UK: the 2004 report, Carers UK & The Children's Society 2004
Written in 2007
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