Wendy's Story: Accepting Depression as a Part of Me

Where do you begin and does it ever leave? From a young age I have suffered from depression, it has consumed the past 20 years of my life. I thought to myself why me? Did I do something bad in a past life? I know now that it is not anything that I have done, I just have a slight chemical imbalance in my brain :( This was already programmed into me, it will never leave but I can learn to cope with it.

It peaked for a good few years and when I was at my lowest I could not leave my house, not even to go to the shop. Seeing people would lead to major panic attacks every time I tried to leave the house. On top of this my son suffered an assault which created a vicious cycle. It wore me and my marriage down. The lack of sleep led to paranoia and I accused my husband of all sorts of things. I felt alone, unloved and wanted to die. This did take its toll. I was taken to the hospital where all they said to me was "ohhhh it's just a panic attack take these pills".

This was not a lifestyle I wanted for me or my family. I had to sort this out once and for all. I decided to accept this was part of me and not to feel ashamed about taking that pill that would help me get through the days. I've been on this medication now for a few years and what a difference it has made! I am working with people with learning difficulties and mental health and I love it. It gives me something positive to focus on and helping someone else with needs greater than mine is very helpful. I know I will always have good days and bad days but I know now that it's just because of my condition, nothing more. I also want to say exercising helped me great deal, a simple walk does wonders to clear the mind.